bouche · sans · bruit

Financial situations have ruined the color green for me. The beloved color is now stamped into my brain as a movement, not a lovely blend of cerulean and merrigold. Marketing has taken photosynthesis and turned it into A Thing, if not The Thing. Don't get me wrong, I'm okay with the 'movement.' Like most movements that pique my interest I'm in agreeance in the theory and ultimate goals, it's just usually the thing in practice that turns me off. Going Green is admirable. I love the idea of cutting down on waste and toxic elements in life to live purely and happily. What I don't love is how damn expensive it is to Go Green. How trendy it is to Be Green. How you're less of a person if you aren't Green.

In a way, I've been Greenish (Turquoise?) my whole life. I am my grandmother's granddaughter. My grandmother who grew up in the depression, who learned not to waste a single thing unless it is absolutely necessary. My mother learned these techniques and I have inherited them as an heirloom. Passed down for generations. My sister is the shining beacon of keeping the heirloom intact with environmentally-friendly cleaning products, compost piles, back-yard gardens, uber-efficient washer and dryer, bee-keeping, etc etc. I think it's fantastic that she looks out for her family's health and happiness in this way. Her daughters are growing up in a very sustainable household with the Family Heirloom to teach them how many ways to re-use a tin can. My sisters and brothers (all five of us) know what it's like to Be Green but the main difference in the home-schooled-hippyish kids and us is that we reduced, reused and recycled because it was financially necessary. A stay at home mother (with a stint of back-to-school for a few years) and a hard-working father was the life for us. We didn't lead a life of constant lacking, heck, I think most of the time we never knew what we were "missing" which means we were just fine. There were little things that we had to keep in mind, however, due to a large family and a smaller budget. Tin foil had many lives, as did paper bags, plastic bags, pretty much anything that was supposed to be disposable lived longer than manufacturers intended because it was wasteful to throw something away which was still perfectly usable. My instincts kick me in the head when I see a glass jar in the trash (or really, even the recycling bin) because just THINK of all the things that jar can be! How much money can be saved by using a jam jar to hold q-tips rather than buying some curtain-matching plastic cup that walmart says is designed for the purpose. You get the point. I am kind of a pack-rat.

So how do I react when I see the Green Movement pushing organic cotton pillows in my face for $300 a pop? Or when I'm the bad guy because the produce I have in my fridge isn't a 100% certified organic, totally-local fare? I have become embittered towards turning my life green. I get upset walking through the earth-friendly grocery store because I can't afford it. I'm not asking to live a life beyond my means and I'm not spouting any evils of sustainability. I am stating that I think it's wrong that the idea of reducing waste and keeping your life at a healthy balance has been so exploited to the point where I want to go to walmart and buy some processed, frozen pizza rolls just out of spite. Getting the word out is one thing, but so many markets cashing in on something that had/has such a pure goal and twisting it into a trendy profit really boils my convential, 50-cents-a-can beans. It's important at this economic time to pinch pennies and rely on ourselves to use what we have to the best of our abilities. I'm just a little fed-up by the lack of understanding that sometimes, especially now-times, not everyone can afford to support local farmers, that making sure all the new clothes you buy come from within the country and have the best-possible work conditions is not always an option, and that there've always been 100 ways to reuse a tin can and to please not put a $40 price tag on one just because you think it's cute and Green. 

I think I am nesting..without the pregnancy. Or maybe it’s years and years of repressed creative output in the context of interior design. It all started when I moved into my new place and thought “Yuck, this bathroom hasn’t been treated well since 1970something. I should paint it!”

Since then, all I can do is read design blogs about spaces, paint colors, different materials, DIY projects for the home, etc. I’ve read almost every article about how to decorate a small bathroom (pretty much use a light color..duh) and I just have no idea what to do. My design sensibility tells me “Use color! A pattern maybe! Paint some kind of mural or cool illustration!” but I just feel so weird listening to myself. Can I commit to something of my own creation? Would a tranquil, clean bathroom be better instead? I feel like I’ll either go safe and clean or just have a creative-splosion all over the bathroom. I am my own worst critic when it comes to my work or taste and I just don’t know what to do. So I need some advice. Suggestions. Maybe I just need to lay on my bathroom floor and get inspired…

Also, will someone buy me some Pantone Paints? This would be so much easier if I could just pick from my swatch libraries…

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Scene: Sitting at work. Rainy and cold outside. Steve Miller Band comes on the Pandora shuffle. Can't stand that song. Decide to change channels to "Billie Holiday Radio." First song to pop up? "Gloomy Sunday"

Sunday is gloomy,
My hours are slumberless
Dearest the shadows
I live with are numberless
Little white flowers
Will never awaken you
Not where the black coaches
Sorrow has taken you
Angels have no thoughts
Of ever returning you
Wouldn't they be angry
If I thought of joining you?

Gloomy Sunday

Gloomy is sunday,
With shadows I spend it all
My heart and I
Have decided to end it all
Soon there'll be flowers
And prayers that are said I know
But let them not weep
Let them know that I'm glad to go
Death is no dream
For in death I'm caressin' you
With the last breath of my soul
I'll be blessin' you

Gloomy Sunday

Dreaming, I was only dreaming
I wake and I find you asleep
In the deep of my heart here
Darling I hope
That my dream never haunted you
My heart is tellin' you
How much I wanted you
Gloomy Sunday

The first thing I do when I finally get a new apartment? Obtaining a contraption like this:

That's right. It's a dispenser for box wine. You take the bag out and put it in this (since they all come with their own nozzle it just slides in the grooves.) This one is from a Swedish designer and is ridiculously expensive so I'm sure I'm going to come up with a way to make one. I just love the idea of having the wine available and creating a piece to keep it out rather than having to hide the ugly box they always come in. The project list is getting big and I'm getting impatient to start on it.

Since I have a fancy phone now, I can take pictures and share them. Under the cut are a good deal of said pictures.

edit: OH MY THEY'RE ALL HUGE! The images are pretty giganto...um...I'm new to the internet...

( 2.0 mp yeaaaah )

If anyone is interested in seeing my "professional portfolio" you can now. It's kind of always a work in progress, especially since a lot of files are stashed away in a UHAUL storage facility in Raleigh. It's a pdf so just click it and download to view. It's pretty small, don't worry.

It really doesn't take much for me to laugh. I usually don't find overly-crude things funny, though a simple fart noise can make me giggle sometimes. I do, however, make myself laugh on more than five occasions daily. One example is the name of my computer. For a while it's name was "INFLATION!" with a tag of "THIS COMPUTER WILL EAT YOU!" until recently when I renamed it "RECESSION!" and "THIS COMPUTER WILL BANKRUPT YOU!" (the tags are meant to scare anyone looking at my computer from doing so)
You see, I just ruined my own joke by posting it here because I am absolutely sure that I am the only one who finds this funny. No one else will care. Anyway, I think I'm hilarious, and sometimes Chapin does as well and really that's all that matters, right?

"Have we forgotten how special Wednesdays can be? Have we forgotten how different November is, when the trees appear in the lean economy of leafless elegance? Have we somehow fallen into the rut where we think that all Mondays are dreary or that February is a difficult month? Have we gotten trapped into comparisons and ingratitudes? Are we in the habit of always putting off an experience until we can afford it? Or until the time is right? Or until we know how to do it? Procrastinating over the joy of being alive is one of the greatest burglars of life I know." - Tim Hansel

This is the spirit I've been looking for, the 'list' of things that I have wanted to accomplish but haven't 'had time' to do... February can be a long, crappy month. This February is going to be better. In the spirit of acknowledging the difference between joy and happiness, I want to be joyful, I want to live and overcome and learn. Happiness is circumstantial, joy is a choice.

Hello big wide world! I know I've been gone, Kristin reminded me of that when she pointed out how she posts 3 times a day and I haven't for 3 months. Sorry! I can give you a summation of what my life has been for the past few months though. Here it is:

Scene: Kitchen of Erin and Kaitlin. The two sit in a booth with a sign over each reading John Wilkes Booth and Das Booth. Kaitlin sits in JWB, Erin in Das.

Kaitlin: UGGGGGGGH
Erin: UGGGGGGGH
Kaitlin: I know. Seriously? I mean really?
Erin: SCHOOL IS HARD. WHY IS SCHOOL TRYING TO KILL ME?
Kaitlin: Are we going crazy? Maybe it's in our heads. No? Have we gone outside today?
Erin: I sometimes forget what outside looks like. I know what the art building looks like. I know what my computer looks like. I know what the library looks like.
Kaitlin: Boy, do I know what the library looks like. Want coffee?
Erin: Let's have coffee and ramen and cigarettes.
Kaitlin: Perfect.

Scene: Kitchen of Erin and Kaitlin. Sometimes the bar. Occasional guests include: Matt L, Matt F, Will, Ben, Chapin, Benji.

Erin: Are we drunk? Is this what drunk is like?
Kaitlin: I've had one beer, you've had three. I think we're drunk? Let's just keep drinking to make sure, we don't want to miss it.
Erin: We used to do this. Remember that?
Kaitlin: You know what time it is, right?
Erin: FLEETWOOD MAC, RUMORS TIME?
Kaitlin: YESSSSSSSSS

Dancing.

Well yeah, that's basically it. Other things happened, occasional trips to Asheville, weeks of anxious sleeping and avoiding life, the usual. Kaitlin and I both made it out. We've finished our last sememster, graduated, kind of moved out (Kaitlin really moved out which makes me saaaaaaaaaaaad , I still have things there) and now are trying to figure out where the ball is going to drop on the sing-a-long of life.

At home in Charlotte. My bed is an air mattress on a box spring. Perfect idea, really. I mean, it's like a real bed and I can deflate it whenever and put it away! I'm pretty sure that's what I'm going to do from now on. It's like a modern-day murphy bed. Hip, right? Right?

Anyway. To Kaitlin, who is most likely reading this: I MISS YOU I MISS YOU AAAAAAAAAAAAAACK I NEED YOU AND OUR BOOOOOOOOOTH
To everyone else: Have a very Merry Christmas, put on some Bing Crosby and drink a glass of red wine for all of us.

Being in a Long Distance Relationship means Good Morning emails! I've already posted a Good Morning Cheer Up photo and here's another morning treat I received today:

"g'morning i love you"

frickin adorable.

Also, I found this last night which is hilarious, yay for mini episodes!

I rode my bike to class (yay aerobic workout) and the wind was blowing in the exact opposite direction (than I was traveling). I had the bike in first gear and could barely get it to move. I gave up and walked it the rest of the way. My outfit consists of one black tshirt and 5 articles of clothes that are all slightly different versions of grey. This wasn't on purpose.

Sitting in boring ol' art history class. Keep in mind I really love art history..

Chapin, being the adorable man that he is, sent an email for me to wake up to because I was bummed I couldn't celebrate his victory at work with him (I feel left out because he's my BFF and I don't get to spend much time with him at all)





(i love you thiiiiiiis much, kiss!)

He's so darn sweet

In trying to figure out which direction I want to go with the poster for my final Graphic Design project, I need some brainstorming help and figured you all are rather creative and would be a great resource.

In reference to a bike (your bike), finish this sentence: 

It's your (my) ________.

One to Two word answers

Sitting in art history again. Art Since 1945. Having another discussion about Marcel Duchamp. “It’s not important what the object is, but what you think it is, and what you think it is is entirely dependent on the context and not what the object is.” I love Duchamp and the kind of F-U he gave to the snobby art critics but it is so boring to have the same discussion/lecture over and over again. This is the 5th class or so and only one has been stimulating. It could be due to the fact that I've had this professor 3 other times. So far we've had the same old talks about Bauhaus (I do love Bauhaus), Outsider Art (What is Art?), Duchamp (Art is what you make it) and Pollock (Abstract Art). The Pollock discussion was the most interesting mainly because I've never really concerned myself with abstract art. I do like it. I guess I'm just whining (what's new?) because I love art history and learning something new about it. It's still relatively early so I'll just wait and see what Toub has up his sleeve...

It could also be the fact that I'm still sick and sick of being sick so I'm full of extra complaints.

this is a metals skills piece i just finished entitled: Rhino

i also now know how to solder a joint and a sweat solder. metals!

Formally discussing Outsider Art is very frustrating. It's also completely unfair for my professor to display two images of works of art and ask the class which one is outsider art. Of course the class is going to pick the one that looks less technically advanced because anyone who hasn't been formally trained couldn't possibly create something as beautiful and skilled as someone who's been through school. AND as soon as you discuss someone's work in terms of artistic quality you damn the "outsider artist" to no longer be one! It's a paradox and it's like debating "What is Art" which can never be accomplished with the idea of having a resolution!!!!!!!!